Cake Decorators, Unite!

I really almost peed myself laughing at this. NHR, but ultimately hilarious.

Naked-Mohawk-Baby-Carrot-Jockeys!


Yes, this is CAKE.


Thanks to Cake Wrecks for this gem, and the photo that made my day.

My Olympic Favorite

Since it is Olympic time, and I haven't been out to see the poor BYB horses, I decided to highlight my favorite horse & rider combination. I've seen them several times, most recently at Rolex K3DE 2008. I noticed her first last year at Rolex K3DE where I rooted or her to win. After a brilliant dressage score, I was so excited to watch her go cross-country. However, that is where she retired. This past year at Rolex, I was again thrilled to see her there. I missed her dressage, but after seeing her scores I knew it must have been brilliant. She was in first. After a beautiful clear round in XC, she was still leading. It was the last two fences in the SJ phase that got her. She pulled both rails and dropped herself to 2nd.


This is Becky Holder, riding the fabulous 12 year old Thoroughbred Courageous Comet.


Just watching this horse in Dressage and you know he is something special. He is a retired racehorse, a stakes winner I believe. He is the horse I dream about owning.

He could be an upper level Dressage horse. He could be a beautiful A circuit Hunter. He could be a beautiful Equitation horse.

I've tried for months to find a video of him doing Dressage. However, I can't seem to find one at all. I could watch the horse move for days.

She's got the ability to win the gold in Bejing. All she has to do is make sure that he has the strength to finish up SJ clear. I have faith in her to do it. Keep track of her progress here.


Now a little photo montage of Courageous Comet and Becky Holder doing Dressage!







She breaks 80% with him. That's unheard of in Eventing! Anyone surprised? This horse is Eventing gumby!

The Jazz And The Musketeers

Jazz and I have been friends for a very long time. At one point I called her my best friend, but I was very young then.
Jazz thinks about herself a lot. But when she thinks about others, her commitment is unrivaled.

But Jazz has been known to be a very bad friend. She doesn't call when you're away. She doesn't answer her phone. She doesn't have time for you if she has a boyfriend. She calls when she needs you. When she wants to go to the bar, when she's alone, when she has no one else. But if you need her, she usually isn't there.
It's an unfortunate vicious circle, but I love Jazz. She is smart, beautiful, and talented. She is fun to be with and there if you are.

Jazz was pressured to go to the State College close to home. She still teaches lessons where I always have. She has her own horse, Big Bay Gelding who is a 7 year old 16hh OTTB gelding that she has had for four years. He is the sweetest, calmest, sanest TB I've ever met. Possibly aside from Dawg's TB. A lot of the time, Jazz ignores her horse. He sits for weeks, months even at a time, and never gets work.

Jazz is a decent rider. She doesn't take a lessons and hasn't in 5-6 years. She thinks she knows it all and doesn't need to learn. She is a very natural rider, but her riding is shabby at best from lack of challenge and critique.



She is my fourth musketeer. Her, Dawg, Son, and I have always been the closest of friends. We spend all our time together, when we're all home. We ride together, we teach lessons together, we show together. I've grown up with them. Jazz and Dawg since they were 10, Son since he was 8. We sleep over each others houses, we confided in our secrets. Our boyfriends/girlfriends are friends. We watch each others back. We care about each other endlessly. Their well-being is a top priority of mine.

We're a mismatched bunch. We're an unlikely group. But it's our unlikeliness and our backgrounds that makes us such good friends. We can help each other, no questions asked.


Jazz and I went to the Fair. She told me to take a shower while she made us food.
I just talked to Dawg. I mentioned to her that I'm coming home, but I didn't want to be with my Dad. She offered me her home.
Son and I drive somewhere, USA. I watch the road. Son speeds and swerves dangerously. I tell him where to turn. I tell him when we're about to be hit. He thanks me for saving his life, repeatedly.

That's the friends we are. We're crazy and silly. We're young and out of control. We're responsible and loyal. It's who we are.

The Equicizer

I had to share this as soon as possible. It is supposed to be like riding a horse, for realllllll. Oooooo.

Only...look at it.
I started crying I was laughing so hard.




Then, I started finding more.
And the hilarity that ensued was endless.
Because not only are there "hunter" ones.

But roping...




Polo...




And my personal favorite, racing!





So then, I went to the website and found a plethora of fun.

Here's Natalie, apparently performing in an Equitation class. Isn't she a real winner?



Look! Tobey Maquire learned to learn how to be a jockey on one for SeaBiscuit!




I'm just glad that we no longer have to ride horses to learn to ride horses! What joy and thrill!

Melanie, Fannie, and Mugwump

Fannie and Melanie were worked today. I thought perhaps I would get some kind of handle of Fannie's attitude and Melanie's basics before I would move onto Annie and Sunny. Melanie was an absolute angel. She lunged beautifully, handled very well on the ground, stood for tacking up. I spent 5 minutes laying across her back scratching her other side with my hand and she never moved. The second time I did it, she started walking off. I said Ho and she stopped. Good mare. I got up the nerve to swing my leg over. I sat on her for ten seconds, then hopped off.

I made the decision to not start her in a bit. It's the first time I've started a horse bitless. I just have a halter with reins snapped on. I think this is a good choice. This way, I can't screw anything up with her mouth. I did put the rein-less bridle on her today and let her make faces at me. The second she stopped I took it off of her. A very productive Melanie day.

Then I decided that I wasn't about to ride Fannie with the way she disrespects me. She needs much more round pen and ground work. She does the most irritating ground behavior I have ever seen. When I'm walking her, I say Ho, I stop, and then she walks further, turns in front of me perpendicular, and stops. I corrected that immediately.

Then I put her in the round pen, patient; but expecting bitchmare from the other day. I was pleasantly surprised that after only 15 minutes of trot work(of her own choice), she decided to submiss to me and allow me to be the alpha. Once she settled the other direction as well, I let her be done. It was still 30 minutes of tough, hot work for her. But all in all, she was much better.

Now he's something I learned from Mugwump that I truly like as a training aid, and I am going to integrate it into my program with these horses.

I am going to tie the horses to be worked to the fence (the sturdy, four board, oak fence) while I work the other horses. It will help them learn patience and that I am the best thing going to happen to them all day because I mean that we will work, and that they will then get fed and turned out.

I like that idea.

The Percheron and The BYB

I haven't really been too busy to blog, just too lazy. A few horse updates...

My mom, The Local Trainer and I talked it over, and decided that I was better off getting a horse down here in Georgia or at school. It just seems smarter, we all agree. Mom is getting truly gung-ho about this whole thing. We're going to look at a 3 year old percheron/paint mare that's about 2 1/2 hours away. Mom is loving that I want her.

And I'm doing this riding-for-training dealy with a friend of my mom's. I need horses to ride on a constant basis and this woman needs her horses ridden. The catch is that he horses haven't been ridden in a year+ and that she only rides western.

So these horses....
We have:
(one) 13.3hh 17year old paint stud with very little training and a terribly straight shoulder - Jet
(one) 14.2hh 12 year old chestnut QH mare with a pissy I'mgoingtokickyou attitude - Fannie
(one) 15.0hh 4 year old unbroke daughter of the two above horses - Melanie
(one) 15.2hh *unknown to me* cuter palomino mare - Sunny
(one) 15.0hh 16 year old grey 3/4 QH 1/4 TB mare, looks very TB mare. Very hunter-y, very barely broke - Annie
(one) 15.2hh 20 year old grey Appendix mare, typey TB, mother of Annie(retired) - AG
(two) small, retired QH broodmares - Sheba and somethingorother

In total we have NINE horses that aren't being ridden, that are constantly being bred, and have no future ahead of them. Fantastic.
So I've been working with them and I've found that they are all terribly - terribly - terribly herdbound. I have a round pen to work the horses in and I am putting the other horses up so that the horse I'm working with can't see them.

So far I've worked Fannie and Melanie(see above).

Fannie was the worst. She worked herself into a nervous drenching sweat in the round pen before I even got there. She continues her tirade while I lunged her, calling out to the other horses in a shrill, irritating whinny. I attempted to get her attention onto me with no avail.

Eventually, as I was getting irritated and didn't want to let it show, I decided to block out everything but me. I put her on the side of the round pen furthest from the barn, put her right side against the panels, and had her head facing me. I stood at the side of her face. Everytime she looked at the barn, I stepped in front of her face. Every time to went to step forward, I stepped in her way. I did this for twenty minutes until she dropped her head and stopped trying. She got pats and praises and it was time to saddle her.

Thank goodness she was fine for saddling. We put her in a nice eggbutt snaffle. I made her stand for mounting, and I mean STAND. I was finally on her, and I wanted to see what she knew. The answer is nothing. She won't bend, she barely turns off an open rein and direct rein. I touch her side, nothing. I squeeze her side, she tosses her head and starts humping up her back. I turn her again, she stops. I squeeze her forward, she humps up her back. I turn her, and boot her forward. She humps up her back, but starts walking. Pets and praises for the little pissy mare.
Eventually we trot and I make her stay at a steady, relaxed pace. Good mare.

I'm not sure how she'll react, but I want to lope. Well, I KNOW how she'll react, I don't know how big it will be. I can't feel her humping up, so I sit taller and deeper. She gets pissier. I pulled her head up, shoved her hip to the inside, and made her lope. She loped alright. Loped twisting, bucking, humping, airborne. But I'm 19, I'm an idiot, I push her on. We get three steady strides of lope without fighting and I let her quit. We trot a bit more and much more amicably. But we're done. As I'm untacking her, she follows me around the round pen. Very good mare.

The next day I worked with Melanie. Now, Melanie is a very sweet, in your pocket horse. doesn't call nearly as much as Fannie. A few times, but for the most part, she's very good. She picks up on the roundpen work very quickly. She walks, trots, canters, and Ho's on command. Very good mare. She isn't the cutest mover, but she's sweet and willing to listen. We do a little leading lesson. I'm very adamant that Ho means Ho. It means stop everything you're doing, plant your feet, and stand still and be ready to back up or turn around. So all the mares are learning that.

After her leading lesson, I have Mom hold her while I play with putting the saddle pad on her. She doesn't care. I hook the stirrups up and play with putting that on her. She doesn't care. I wrap the girth a little. She doesn't care. I tighten it. A little walking, which Mom corrects and backs her up to where she was. Good mare. I tighten it more. She doesn't budge. I tie it off where it is between comfortable and tight.

I let her get any kinks out. Apparently there are none. She walks, trots, canters and ho's with the saddle. Good mare. I bang the stirrups on her side with no response. Good mare. I attach reins to the halter. We practice our turning and stopping. I fit her with a bit and bridle and let her chew on it for a little. I take it out of her mouth and put the reins back on the halter.

I bring her to the center of the ring. I put weight in the stirrup with my hand. Both sides. Good mare. I tell her Ho, grab the horn and cantle and pull. She takes a step, I tell her Ho and back her up. She stops. Good mare. I do it again, and she walks off again. Repeat the process. I do it again. She stands. Good mare.

I put my foot in the stirrup. She stands. I pull on the pommel and cantle with my foot in the stirrup. She stands. I put a little weight in the stirrup. She stands. I lift myself off the ground. She stands. I lower myself, take my foot out, and pat her. Good mare. We are done.



And that's my adventure with the Backyard Breeder.

Georgia and Horse Trials

I survived. I'm in Georgia. After 13 hours in my 1992 Mazda MX-3, I pulled into the condo. I don't feel at home. I feel like this is Mom's home, and I'm just visiting. I'm going to try to get used to this, but I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with it.


But I'm going to backtrack a bit here. The Local Trainer and I talked about The Trakhener. We decided that he wasn't the best route to go. There were too many things working against him. So.... last Thursday I went up to Big Name Trainer's place with The Local Trainer to look at horses.

I tried a beautiful 7 year old gray Trakhener mare. Her and I really didn't get along. I don't want to go into detail, so we'll leave it at that. I'm the average A/O rider, and that spazzed her out.

So, Big Name Trainer has no idea that Son and I are friends. So she has me ride the Big Black Gelding to try him out. And considering I rode him just last week, Big Name Trainer was impressed most by my ride on Big Black Gelding. But I don't want him, he's too old and is never going to leave the 2'6-2'9.

Then I tried 17.1hh 8 year old TB gelding. He was the quietest, sanest horse. This is the horse Local Trainer really wants me to get. He has the movement and jump for the A's. Scope for the Hunters, but I ride well enough for Eq. I jumped him 2'9, and he didn't even jump up to me. SOOOO nice. Local Trainer was TOTALLY right about him being perfect for me.

So now we're looking into this gelding. And I'll take him to school.


So now I'm in Georgia. And I'm going to look at barns soon.

The Trakhener and a Photoshoot

Yesterday I went and looked at the Trakhener again with The Local Trainer and Son. They both rode him, I didn't.

The Local Trainer really likes him, but is just worried about how heavy he is in the head. But she told me to get him because she knew the horse would be in training most of the year and the problem would be fixed by someone other than me.

Son jumped the horse. And the horse is VERY cute over fences. Good knees even over only 2'3, and he wasn't even trying. Not to mention, he doesn't crack his back over the fences too much, so yay! Equitation!

The Local Trainer and I talked about it, and we really like the horse. She encouraged me to buy him and that she was going to talk to her vet about getting me a prepurchase. I'm so very excited at this point!


In other news, the Boyfriend and I did a photoshoot while we were at school and I finally got some rough pictures back. There are many, MANY more(like 300), but here are the highlights .
Photos courtesy of Sarah Hoppes.

I'm headed off to cheer on my little kids at a 4-H show. Wish them luck!

Lunging and The Dog

Horses are such funny creatures. I took the time to realize that today.
First, I decided I was too tired to ride today, so I would lunge Alibi instead.

He is an A+++ lunger. I demand that of any horse I work with. To me, a horse that lunges well is more responsive, respectful, and less prone to fighting it's rider/handler.
Alibi lunges on a line, in a round pen, and free lunges in an arena entirely on voice. I can speed up his walk, trot, and canter with just my voice, as well as getting him to stop.
And he must stop parallel to me. I do not believe in having the horse come into your space as soon as they believe they're done working. That can quickly escalate into a horse charging. The horse must stop on the circle and turn its head to me only. And then may come to me either a.) as I approach him/her or b.) when I walk away.
I don't mind if the horse bucks while lunging. They aren't hurting anyone and, if trained how I prefer, continue back to work immediately after bucking.

To me, lunging is a HUGE part of any horse's training, regardless of discipline.

Anyway, so Alibi is fantastic at lunging.

I began lunging him in the indoor arena. He was an angel. He was quiet. We did walk/trot, trot/canter, canter/walk, and walk/canter both directions. We began going to the left and I see the dog come running into the arena. The dog is a beautiful 6 year old Border Collie. He is obedience and herding trained. And he is a complete and utter idiot. He is the dumbest dog I've ever met.
But he LOVES to herd. Even though he's terrible at it.

He begin to herd Alibi. Alibi decides he will have none of this. Everytime he passes the dog he pins his ears, snakes his head at him, and stomps his feet. All while cantering.

I start laughing at him and Alibi pricks his ears towards me. The dog starts barking and running his half-circles around the horse. From then on, everytime Alibi passed the dog he would pin his ears and snake. There were a few times that Alibi would cut the arena and go after the dog, stomping and bucking.

Eventually I dropped my whip and Alibi stopped. He was near the dog, so I called the dog and he came and laid down behind Alibi. I turned Alibi around and called the dog again. He came over and Alibi lowered his head to snuffle him.

It wasn't long before Alibi relaxed his head until it was resting on the ground and the dog began licking Alibi's muzzle. Alibi was loving it. I sit down in the arena some ways off and just can't contain my laughter any longer.

I love horses.

The Quarter Horse (2) and Son

I had Son ride Alibi last night. I warmed him up and BOY was he deciding that work was not for today! Little did he know that Son was going to come out and MAKE him work is weak little butt. I did my usual warm-up stuff. We walked on a loose rein and did big loopy circles, and then trotted on a loose rein and did big loopy circles. A little bit of half-seated canter....all wonderful. Then I stopped and asked for a turn on the forehand.

I said, I asked for a turn on the forehand.

*nudge nudge nudge*

We walked out of it, tried again.
This time he was having none of it and threw a little wussy I don't want to do it stomp/half-rear. More stomp than rear.

We circled tightly and tried again. Two steps, and trot away.
I ask again. He ignores me. I whap him with the stick. He kicks out.

So we do small circles at the trot. And try again.
Finally, I win.

We start rounding up at the trot, do some extensions...

Then I hop off and up Son goes. And AWAY the horse goes. Son starts working him and Alibi is having none of this. He's throwing his head, stopping and half-rears, trotting off. All this- from the lazy QH nobody can canter?

Son goes to canter him. I'm dreading this, knowing that I've done absolutely ZERO with his canter and he is ridiculously downhill and on the forehand. But Son won't take that. The horse has training, the horse knows what to do.

In reality, it's me that is stopping the horse from performing. I'm not physically strong enough after the three months I stopped riding. I can't drive his ass under him and lift his forehand. And I could NEVER do it like Son does. Son is a ridiculously good rider.

So Alibi keps throwing his wimpy bucks that wouldn't faze a monkey on his back. Son keeps telling him that they're going to work and the bucking isn't.

At some point they came to this half-hearted cooperation where Alibi did what Son wanted, but Alibi was not going to make it easy. The whole time we can all hear Son muttering obscenities about the horse.

At some point during the ride, Son remembered Alibi's lead changes.
Last year when Alibi was in full training with me, we were SOMEWHERE with our lead changes. We could get beautiful, sweepy, lovely changes. In the front only. I worked for months and months and months to get lead changes in the back. Maybe four times did I ever get a full change.

This year(about two and a half weeks ago), I come back to get on Alibi. I cross the centerline on a diagonal, Alibi throws his shoulder out, changes his front, and runs away with me. Hmmm.

Son remembers that Alibi only has front changes. And this annoys him. Because he has spent over a year putting BEAUTIFUL autos on Big Black Gelding. And little Quarter Horse gelding who SHOULD have autos- a bit of a shit about them.

After countless simple changes and too many front only changes, we get one solid back change.
And he finishes. He jumps off the horse and I hop on to cool him down.

Son tells me that he was done, but I am not. I must pick up a canter and he will show me how he wants me to balance Alibi.

Outside rein. Outside Rein. outsiderein. Outsiderein. Outsirein. I need to balance my bend with my insie leg, but keep his shoulders straight between my reins.

With HUS, WP trained Alibi, not so easy. With rubber legs me, not so easy.
So we zipped around the arena for what felt like forty times with my chicken legs attempting to pushthehorseintomyoutsiderein. After some successful, round canter, Son let me be finished.

I collapsed to a walk and breathed heavily for seventeen hours. Alibi wasn't even close to finished. He was jigging around, pawing, trotting off. I couldn't believe it. But he'd been out for a solid 45, and I let him be done.



The trainer I go to when I'm here called me today. She was suggesting a horse to me. It was her vet's horse. Younger, 17hh TB gelding. Jumping 2'6 courses with autos. Enough talents to do the A's. Just what I'm looking for. Except...he's $12,000. I kindly thanked The Local Trainer and told her I'd pass. That was much for even me.

I told her about Trakhener gelding and she said she wanted to come with me to look at him. She said she'd ride him for me and find out with he really knows. I can tell you right now, she is going to HATE him. She'll like him to look at, hate him to ride him. But I bet she'll agree to buy him.